This Week in Ugh: Week of February 18-24, 2018

The Poison:

  1. People Actually Think Parkland Kids are “Crisis Actors”: The internet is a very wonderful and strange place. With the same swiftness that it allows for us to make connections and waste time looking at each other’s shitposting, it also allows for the more, ahem, colorful of minds to float around conspiracy theories worthy of a Dan Brown knockoff. This week, basement-dwellers (the self-proclaimed oracles of the kingdom of the internet) claimed to see beyond the curtain and accused the victims of the Parkland shooting to be “crisis actors,” which is not even what that term means, but why bring the truth into this scenario when you’re fed an entire diet of delusion? These elaborate conspiracy theories only serve to discredit the suffering Parkland students and families while ignoring all the policy changes that could be enacted to make this country safer for our families, especially our children.
  2. Paul Manafort Can’t Convert PDFs to Word Docs: In what has been roundly referred (by myself) as the most baby boomer of crimes, Manafort left a doctored document paper trail to secure loans by e-mailing documents back and forth with Gates (who presumably does know how to use technology developed after 1980) and this is part of his indictment. This is why elaborate conspiracy theories have no place in Trump’s America. I mean, look at the sophistication of these cavepeople and the attention to detail they bring to their crimes (barely any).
  3. Showing no Spine at all, Mitt Romney accepts Donald Trump’s Endorsement: Never trust these buffoons. Never forget. I’m done.

The Antidote:

  1. Help students any way you can. Amplify their voices. Call your representatives and demand action on gun control.
  2. Listen, I’m not going to tell you to hold the hand of every boomer in your life as you look into their eyes and tell them, “You don’t know how to use this technology, STOP,” or to roll your eyes visibly at your boss’ face when they can’t figure out PDFs and are trying to manually copy and paste a 180 page PDF into word and get visibly agitated, but remember this moment with glee. Remember that once you had the technological upper hand them. Sometimes pettiness soothes the soul, you know? Oh, and before I forget, DON’T LET PEOPLE NORMALIZE THESE CRIMES AGAINST OUR PEOPLE. Remain vigilant and demand action.
  3. Seek to elect people with actual integrity.
  4. BONUS: Listen to music that makes you happy and makes you dance. We all need a dance party now and then, even those of us with two left feet.
Adriana WilsonComment