9 of Discs ~ Seeing from Essential Self
Fall is upon us. She is a season of Kali ~ She who releases us from the excess, the out-dated, the agreements and beliefs that bind and limit our awareness, our risks, our joy. Kali, I think, is often misunderstood. Overly feared as a “harsh” or heavy-handed creature. Really she is a painter. A rhythmic being who refuses to forsake the lessons of letting go that allow us to redraw our lives. There is a lot of heart in Kali’s heavy handedness. Her sword severs with love. She is like Fall, the season that necessitates release, surrender, and sometimes a straight up shake down (or smack down if we really hang on to the shit that no longer serves us).
Fall imbues the process of letting go with beauty. She surrounds us with yellows, oranges and reds - those colors that speak strongly to our worldly chakras - stability, community, desire, creation, connection, and sovereignty. She brings the mystical into this annual strip-down that reveals the essential. Fall invites us to gracefully pay our respects to all of the fruits of our lives, the fruits of this world, and the fruits of those that came before, and begin the slow turn inward to our untouchable essence - that which is never untrue to who we are and what we are made of.
For this New Moon that sits on the cusp of Fall, I pulled the 9 of Discs. I am in love with this card. A medicine woman sits on the Earth accompanied by a cactus and a snake - partners in simplicity and resilience. She has with her a drum, a rattle, a wand, and sand that she uses to paint her vision. When I first looked at this card, this time, I saw a map in this painting, with the medicine wheel as a guide to the medicine woman. I love the simplicity and elegance of this map and that is lays directly on the Earth, fully invoking connection with all that we come from and belong to, and the support of this material world. I love the way the mesa rolls right into the Sky, showing us how intricately connected vision is with reality. She is safe, yet vulnerable. Sitting in an exposed and expansive spot, unencumbered by a bounty of vegetation...bare as the beings of Fall. She is in solitude, yet un-alone, surrounded by her most elemental Mother.
The 9 of Discs and this Fall Equinox invite us to “bare down” to our true essence, and create from the space of our Souls. Bring with you into this transition, those items that are essential. What is your wand, your rattle, your drum? What is your always song made of? Do you know? This is not about isolation, and it’s not about sacrifice. It is about enjoying the ways that we are intricately connected and infinitely creators, even in our solitude. The 9 of Discs, though depicting a woman alone in the desert, offers 9 Discs - symbols of material bounty and support. When we align ourselves with our Souls and the Souls of that which we belong to, support is a natural occurrence. The Medicine Woman knows this, and carries these discs in her consciousness, even when they are not yet in her bag.
Fall is when we harvest and enjoy the fruits of our essence, and know their impermanence. It is a time when we discover that which is permanent, and that which is simply hard to shake. This Fall, in your own way, take solitude as your own Medicine Woman. Take time to give gratitude for the fruits of Spring and Summer. Take time to recognize that which you choose to release, and even that which you aren’t ready to just yet. Ritualize this in some way for yourself. Write it down and burn it, bury it, offer it as water to the Earth, take a bath and do a cleansing ritual for your body, clean out your physical space, do anything that you feel called - to intentionally align with Fall and create space for your vision. Ask Kali for help if you need her. Then sit with yourself. Let all of the “excess” - the thoughts, desires, resentments, expectations, disappointments - let them settle and dissolve, and allow your essence to rise to the surface. Let yourself be surprised or not. Perhaps you know yourSelf more deeply than you realize. Perhaps there is something within you to be discovered. Invite from that Source ~ that part of you which is Source to paint, write, draw, sing, collage, create like the Medicine Woman in this card a vision derived from your essence. Let it be simple or complex. Let what comes, come. Let it be for you and you alone. If you feel very protective of your internal thoughts, plan to burn or bury it after. Say or sing it out loud one time and let that be enough. If it is of you, it will always be of you - this is simply a process of discovering what your essential Self stands for.
May it be fun and may you do this with the essentials of wine and chocolate at your side.