This Bestie Business

Erin and I in ABQ in December for Friendsmas. We've been best friends since 8th grade when we realized together we could be weird and free. 

Erin and I in ABQ in December for Friendsmas. We've been best friends since 8th grade when we realized together we could be weird and free. 

Bestie, best friend, frand to the and, sister, banshee, babe, beauty, darling, dear, ride-or-die, soulmate, bud.

Good times, noodle salad. 

What's in a best friend? 

Me and Erin at Arch Cape, Oregon in August. We stayed in an AirBnB seconds from the beach.

Me and Erin at Arch Cape, Oregon in August. We stayed in an AirBnB seconds from the beach.

A bestie stands the tests. Tests of time, distance, busy schedules and lack of resources/finances. Best friends are ones that allow you the freedom to express yourself, and upon doing so, appreciate, love, and admire you more. A best friend is better than a friend because a best friend is to the end. They support and encourage you through dark times and honor and amplify you when you’re shining bright. Best friendships are not in contest; they do not compete for the spotlight or attention, but instead compliment each other and build up. A best friend is eager to hear your opinion and does not seek to put you down. Best friends will arrange a plane ticket to wherever it is you’re living, just to spend some time with you. Best friendships reciprocate. Best friendships listen. Best friendships are compassionate and flourish even in distance. 

Distance is nothing but a measurement. In fact, often being far away makes for a deeper relationship because you have to put in the effort to keep in touch. 

This year has been an all around celebration when it comes to spending time with friends. Since moving to Portland, Oregon many friends have come to visit, and I’ve returned to a few familiar places as well. Social media has made it incredibly easy to keep in touch with friends and I take advantage of that conduit. FaceTime, snapchat, instagram, and facebook are apps I use to see friends and family regularly, and in the last year group texts have become a staple in staying close and supporting each other. Each group text is unique due to who and how many people are involved, and fun things like images, inside jokes, memes, and GIFs add variety and show personality through an otherwise one-dimensional platform. 

You can pick back up where you last left off. Or dive in where you are now with or without backstory. Best friends are ready to listen, eager to hear how things are going in your life. 

Karen! We met at Fashion Design school in Las Vegas. She's killin' it in LA, being wild and free. 

Karen! We met at Fashion Design school in Las Vegas. She's killin' it in LA, being wild and free. 

"Warriors"; Andrea and I in May. Oregon. 

"Warriors"; Andrea and I in May. Oregon. 

To invite lasting friendships:

Be real from the get-go. I am weird. I am boisterous. I make puns and dad-jokes and I like to have fun. I'm also quiet and initially reserved, first observant then full plunge. An honest friendship is a more fulfilling one. I don’t have space in my life for people who do not want me to express myself. Lasting friendships will be with those who are unapologetically themselves and expect the same from you. 

Friendship is a two-way street. To get out of it, you have to put into it. Answer the phone, call each other back, make sure your conversations leave enough room and time for both parties to share their stories. Listen, and respond logically- relating, if you do, but you're not expected to. 

Make friendships with people who like you and want to contribute to your sticking around. 

Make friends with people who like themselves and do not expect you to conform to them. 

Find people with common interests that tie you together.

Find people with uncommon interests that tie you together.

A best friend is one that loves and accepts you where you are, supporting and validating your time in that place, also one that believes in you and sees you at your brightest even when you’re not exuding it. A best friend is there to help you when you fall, to answer when you call, and be there when you need an energetic pick-me-up. 

Best friends exude their light brightly when in each other's company. 

Me and Andrea dancing under Ponytail Waterfall, Oregon. We met in high school and were drawn to each other's sense of style and love of fashion. She's now a flight attendant and stops down to hang out every now and again. We have memories in New Mexico, New York City, and Oregon.

Me and Andrea dancing under Ponytail Waterfall, Oregon. We met in high school and were drawn to each other's sense of style and love of fashion. She's now a flight attendant and stops down to hang out every now and again. We have memories in New Mexico, New York City, and Oregon.

My mom and I during our trip to Seaside, Oregon in March. She's my first and ultimate best friend.

My mom and I during our trip to Seaside, Oregon in March. She's my first and ultimate best friend.

Erin holding Stevie, Valori's sweet newborn baby in May in Albuquerque, NM. The three of us have been best friends since middle school, enduring true tribulations and triumphs in the years since. 

Erin holding Stevie, Valori's sweet newborn baby in May in Albuquerque, NM. The three of us have been best friends since middle school, enduring true tribulations and triumphs in the years since. 

Nick is also one of my oldest friends, meeting in middle school and bonding over music and travel. Our cover band was a hit.

Nick is also one of my oldest friends, meeting in middle school and bonding over music and travel. Our cover band was a hit.

My dear friend Cassie via Snapchat. Buds since high school, we bonded over being "over" the bullshit and seeking realness in our friendships. She's intelligent, strong, loyal, level-headed, and compassionate. 

My dear friend Cassie via Snapchat. Buds since high school, we bonded over being "over" the bullshit and seeking realness in our friendships. She's intelligent, strong, loyal, level-headed, and compassionate. 

Ben! We only met in Portland with enough time to form a radical friendship before he moved back to Atlanta, but we K.I.T. via FT. He is passionate about living honestly and fully.

Ben! We only met in Portland with enough time to form a radical friendship before he moved back to Atlanta, but we K.I.T. via FT. He is passionate about living honestly and fully.

Banshees: the Jennas, the Meagles, the Liz, the Mandies, and the Natalies. Here posing before Erin's bachelorette party (!) in Albuquerque last June. 

Banshees: the Jennas, the Meagles, the Liz, the Mandies, and the Natalies. Here posing before Erin's bachelorette party (!) in Albuquerque last June. 

Josh'wa. Sweet, caring, thoughtful Joshua from Kansas. One of the finest gems in the vault, he's love and light all over. Us on Governor's Island after our friend Deb's art exhibit. We bonded in Astoria, Queens over music, movies, theater, cats, and silliness. 

Josh'wa. Sweet, caring, thoughtful Joshua from Kansas. One of the finest gems in the vault, he's love and light all over. Us on Governor's Island after our friend Deb's art exhibit. We bonded in Astoria, Queens over music, movies, theater, cats, and silliness. 

Me and Javi at our shared apartment in Astoria, NY. May. We worked together at Saks and instantly bonded over fashion, art, and playing hide-and-seek in designer clothingracks. 

Me and Javi at our shared apartment in Astoria, NY. May. We worked together at Saks and instantly bonded over fashion, art, and playing hide-and-seek in designer clothingracks. 

Lovely Brandon, my first high school crush that went as romantically sour as possible, is one of my dearest friends. He is adventurous, brave, strong, kind, thoughtful, and endearing. A traveler, he is self-sufficient, wild, and humble. 

Lovely Brandon, my first high school crush that went as romantically sour as possible, is one of my dearest friends. He is adventurous, brave, strong, kind, thoughtful, and endearing. A traveler, he is self-sufficient, wild, and humble. 

Aphrodite, the Greek goddess, exudes cool realness. We're gonna change the world. This was during her trip to PDX in March. We met in Astoria, NY bonding over a desire to become pirates and live freely.  

Aphrodite, the Greek goddess, exudes cool realness. We're gonna change the world. This was during her trip to PDX in March. We met in Astoria, NY bonding over a desire to become pirates and live freely.  

"Your vibe attracts your tribe." Choose wisely.

Me and Amanda Dalfino during her trip to Portland in February. She hooked me up with the killer fire locks. She's insanely talented, has a heart of gold, and beams passion with radiance. 

Me and Amanda Dalfino during her trip to Portland in February. She hooked me up with the killer fire locks. She's insanely talented, has a heart of gold, and beams passion with radiance. 

A best friend is one that loves and accepts you where you are, supporting and validating your time in that place, also one that believes in you and sees you at your brightest even when you’re not exuding it. A best friend is there to help you when you fall, to answer when you call, and be there when you need an energetic pick-me-up. 

Best friends exude their light brightly when in each other's company. 

Particularly with female friendships, there is more power in camaraderie than competition. Encourage each other to be fearless and unapologetic. Support each other's passions because they are theirs. Allow for change and keep growing.

Build each other up and you will all end up on top.

 

Nat DavisComment